I was looking through my Facebook feed when I stumbled across a very beautiful, eloquently written article about pregnancy after loss. PALS is a website that is designed for those of us in that terrible little niche market (expecting after a loss), and I have been reading several of their articles and have followed them on Facebook to try and find some peace of mind with my situation. This story, in particular, really spoke to me and resonates with a lot of my ideals; it’s posted here.
Especially when you lose your first, you tend to struggle with knowing how to handle your situation. Trying to know how to answer questions like “Do you have any kids?” is a tricky endeavour. I’m sure I’m not going to know how to answer when people start asking me “Is this your first?” all over again; I try not to hide Brock, but it’s also not a discussion that you want to get into with just anyone. For example, with a hairdresser, I might just want to say “Yes”, because it would probably take all the wind out of their sails for the rest of the session if I started telling them all about my dead baby.
Some of you may or may not have heard a recent story about a mother named April McLean. I believe this circulated more around the bereaved parenting community, but it went pretty viral for a little while there. April gave birth to a critically ill child and called on Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a nonprofit organization that takes professional photos of children too ill to survive for their parents to have as keepsakes, to take photos of her and her partner with their baby. Tragically, the photographer’s car was broken into while the camera was still in there, and the whole lot – priceless photos and all – was stolen.
There is good news, though! The family and photographer made a public appeal to have the memory card sent back, and it was returned (sans the rest of her equipment, of course). In the wake of this, a crowdsourced fundraiser has been set up to help replace the photographer’s equipment. If you can spare a couple of dollars, consider helping the cause out here.